she's into porn, im staying here tonight
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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