i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
