I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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