When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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