Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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