i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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