physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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