Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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