so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
