just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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