OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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