Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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