I'm laying in your front yard are you home
its not stalking. its research.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
