Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
