and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
