so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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