You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
PANTIES FOUND
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