i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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