Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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