i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
