I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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