Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
