I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
