Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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