i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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