I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
