alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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