Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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