Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
