So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
