its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you made out with another girl for some wings
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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