He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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