So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
NoShamevember. You game?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
