I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
