glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
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