Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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