im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
