Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
a search helicopter?!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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