my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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