i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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