hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
