I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Buhtt sex?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
