I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
