Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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