I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
