i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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