So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
