somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ketchup is God's man juice
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
