Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
