Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
