...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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