didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
