I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
